Tim Tebow is Stephen Baldwin (or Kirk Cameron) (or Bono) (or Miss America)

Look.

It’s not that I dislike Tim Tebow.

He’s painfully earnest in a way that would make it difficult for me to talk to him, but he’s also much much stronger than me, so I would probably give it a civilized shot.

I think he has the potential to forever alter the quarterback position; however, I think it’s also reasonably likely that he’ll fade into football obscurity. It’s just too soon to tell, and I’m willing to wait and see.

It’s not Tim Tebow that concerns me. It’s all those people with Tebowners that came screaming into the forefront of civilization when he won five games in a row, shutting their copies of The Prayer of Jabez long enough to proclaim that the favor of God had descended.

Tebow didn’t choose this role; from what I can tell, he’s trying to live a heartfelt, simple expression of his faith while somehow navigating its intersection with football and fame. Of course, Tebow is utterly unafraid to discuss his beliefs, at any time or place–but he’s not handing out tracts in the parking lots or giving altar calls after games.

So why is it that, when Tebow plays, we* assume the anointing of God Most High resides within his very substantial hamstrings?  Christendom: why do we do this?

Because it’s not just Tim Tebow. He’s simply the latest incarnation in a long, long string of Most High Exalted Anointed Almost-Jesus-If-Actual-Jesus-Hadn’t-Already-Been-Born Semi-Saviors. It’s a chain that includes (just in my lifetime) U2, Kirk Cameron, BibleMan, Sixpence None the Richer, Stephen Baldwin, Reggie White, Stryper, multiple Miss Americas, George W Bush, and that one guy from Korn.

I am perplexed by this pathetic, frantic desperation that the American** church exhibits for a poster boy. It’s a misinterpretation of the gospel and a disservice to billions of Christians, current and past, who have lived quietly, compassionately, and meaningfully in the service of their Creator.

It’s also confusing the message. I’m not sure anyone’s mentioned that yet.  American Church: do you really think your kids (or neighbors) haven’t noticed that you have no clue what the Jets’ left tackle or the (shudder) Raiders’ 2nd string kicker believes? Do you think people aren’t picking up the subtle message that we only care what the winners think about Jesus?

It makes it look like we don’t quite believe what we say we believe. According to the New Testament, the faithful need no priest, no icon–just a body of believers.  There are no figureheads, theological or pop-cultural, that mediate or validate our faith.  It’s a crucial piece of early church teaching and method:  celebrity doesn’t matter– there is no VIP section of heaven–and (thank God!) the 700 Club won’t be doing interviews with the Pop Culture Christian SuperHero of the Moment.

I am exhausted by this near-cult mentality that fetishizes celebrity, this pseudo-Christian Kardashianization of anyone famous who happens to believe as we do, this moral authority based on temporal fame.  It makes us look envious and small and unheroic.  It is sheer consumerism.

And DO NOT START with the “but he’s got such a good platform” garbage. The Church requires no platform. The Church began subversively, and saw its greatest growth before anyone (read: Constantine) adopted it from a “platform.”  People with platforms have done near-fatal damage to the Church.

The fundamental reality of the early church was organic growth–think of proliferating cells–not top-down structure.  In the end, that confusion over missional methodology is the biggest problem I have–not with Tim Tebow, but with the culture that has created TIM TEBOW:  JESUS MAN!

We are asking Tim Tebow to save the world for us–when Jesus Christ has already done that.

_________________________________________________

* I use “we” and “us” extensively in this piece because I believe that (regardless of our disagreements) the Tebowites and I share a common Savior and a common Church.

** I hammer on the American church (and its Southern Baptist expression) a lot simply because that’s where I’ve landed in life, and that’s what I’m the most familiar with.